


I'll show you the real thing, baby

by counting2fifteen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mentions of pornography, No Smut, tech support!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22095790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counting2fifteen/pseuds/counting2fifteen
Summary: prompt: dan taking his computer to Phil because he got a virus from watching porn and Phil is like “I can offer you the real thing” but is super bad at flirting
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	I'll show you the real thing, baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kishere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishere/gifts).



> this is for my friend K because she was able to guess approximately 3 things that make me feral. it is extremely easy to get me to gift things to people.

“I don’t know what happened, I swear,” the brown haired kid protested. “I was just watching videos and-”

Phil rolled his eyes. He was used to this type of person coming into his small computer repair store: young, terrible at not clicking on sketchy links, and probably in trouble with his parents. He couldn’t help poking a little bit of fun at the guy. “What kind of videos?”

The kid blushed. “Whatever. It’s not important. Can you fix it?”

“Sure,” Phil said, looking through the laptop. “As long as you can pay. It doesn’t look like whatever you downloaded was that sophisticated.”

The kid took a deep breath. “Thanks.”

Phil looked over at him. “Worried about getting in trouble, are we?”

He scowled. “Shut up. I’m 19, I don’t live with my parents anymore. I have a paper due tomorrow.”

Phil glanced up from the kid’s laptop. Well, not so much a kid if he was only two years younger than Phil. “University, huh?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Law degree. It sucks.”

“Trade school,” Phil said. “It didn’t suck, actually, computers are neat. Even if the people who use them won’t stop clicking on sketchy porn links.”

“Sorry,” the boy mumbled.

“It’s fine,” Phil said. “I mean, if people ever did learn, I’d be out of a job. So there’s that.” He paused, scanning the computer screen. “I’m Phil, by the way.”

“Dan.” Dan peered over Phil’s shoulder. “Are you done yet?”

Phil snorted. “I’m not that fast. Give me a minute, and stop crowding me. I’m not going to go looking for whatever weird porn you downloaded unless it’s also a virus.”

Dan looked down at the ground.

Phil groaned. “It isn’t, is it? Please don’t make me look at your weird porn.”

“I don’t know very much about computers,” Dan confessed. “But hopefully not?”

“I’m charging you double if you make me look at your weird porn,” Phil said.

“I won’t!” Dan protested. “And it’s not weird,” he muttered under his breath.

Phil took a deep breath. “I’ll be the judge of that. And back off, you’re stressing me out.”

Dan moved back in sullen silence, finally giving Phil enough room to work. Fifteen minutes later, he was done.

“Here you go,” Phil said.

Dan rushed over. “It’s fine? All my files and everything-”

“Perfectly fine.” Phil handed Dan his laptop back. “But be more careful on sketchy porn sites next time, will you? Get an adblocker or something.”

Dan flushed. “I wasn’t-”

“It’s okay, Dan. The only thing I’m judging you for is being lax about your online security.”

Dan rolled his eyes, grabbing his laptop.

“Though I have to say,” Phil said, leaning in closer, “A guy like you, I wouldn’t think you’d need some sketchy porn site.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, or at least he tried to. He ended up raising both and looking extremely skeptical instead of sexy.

“I’ll show you the real thing, baby.” Phil licked his lips in an attempt to look attractive.

“Oh yeah?” Dan seemed into it too now. “Will I be safe from any… viruses that way?”

“Of course, baby. I get checked for malware every six months and after downloading from any new sources, and I always use anti-virus software.”

Dan smirked. Or maybe he cringed. “Oh really?”

“Really. Can I give you my number?” Phil asked.

“Do you normally charge for that too?”

“Not for people as cute as you.”

Dan ducked his head, but Phil could see his smile dimpling. “Here,” he said, handing his phone over.

Phil put his number in under “Hot Computer Guy”. “Call me,” he said, handing it back.

“Hot Computer Guy, huh,” Dan said, reading off his phone screen.

Phil shrugged. “Are you saying I’m not a hot computer guy?”

Dan shrugged back. “See you around?”

“As long as it’s not here. I’m not kidding, by the way. Get an adblocker and stop using sketchy porn sites.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I’ll get an adblocker.”

“Baby steps,” Phil said.

**Author's Note:**

> [like/rb on tumblr](https://counting2fifteen.tumblr.com/post/190031041308/ill-show-you-the-real-thing-baby%22) if you want


End file.
